Once upon a time, I had a little cousin. And he’s getting married today.
(I say little, though he’s really only a year younger than me). Traditional tea ceremony in a few hours, followed by an ace party on Saturday – expect lots of photos soon! I’m psyched – this is gonna be an awesome blossom party.
Ah but, it’s also got me thinking about my own *ahem* marital status (oh no, which relationship-status option do I tick on Facebook!). I’m the only one left in this age group of cousins who’s still single. I’m not quite sure how I feel about this. The old Chinese heritage in me is feeling very much like a sour old maid who’s way past her sell-by date; the Germaine Greer in me feels like uplifted and happy and looking forward to many years yet of doing many more things that you can only do when you’re single.
At a wedding party though, surrounded only and entirely by romance and the celebration-of-a-couple, it’s going to be fun / hard (depending on how you look at it) not to stick out like a single sore thumb.
(I’m reminded here of something I saw recently which said something like, “When you’re single, all you see are happy couples; and when you’re in a committed relationship, all you see are carefree singles”. Grass, greener?)
But anyway, this wedding isn’t about me is it, it’s about Jason and his beautiful, lovely, laughing-all-the-time, gorgeous, wife Bicycle (that’s not really her name, but it’s what some of us call her… it’s a long story and probably not as funny when retold here as it was when we first came up with it). They’ve been together for something like 14 years. That’s no small feat. I haven’t been able to get past the two-year-mark in any of my relationships without developing murderous tendencies so seeing Jason and Bicycle last forever is remarkable and wonderful and makes me teary-eyed and hopeful.
For many years now, I’ve been hugely cynical about relationships, romance and weddings, tuned more to regard them wearily as personal little disasters than to see the positive possibilities within them. Then someone opened me up about a year ago, made me feel that partial little glimmer of being able to love freely and joyfully again, and now I’m sold forever to the idea of romance.
Or rather, the idea of being with someone who will help to push you further along your life’s journey, who will complement you and challenge you, who will make you see yourself in ways that you never thought to before; someone who, more than being a lover, will be a true companion to the end of your days; someone who will not only love you but give you that special opportunity to love with fullness.
(and if it can’t be that, as evidently it hasn’t been in my sad and sorry instances of romance, then heck, let’s just eat more wedding cake and be glad for being single!)
Today, I am ever hopeful and there are heart-shaped stars in my eyes. Jason and Bicycle make me believe in love again and I’m glad to be seeing two people make a promise to each other to live happily ever after.
Because you know, despite all our 21st-century cynicisms, happy endings are far more beautiful a thing to lay hope in than the apprehensions and misfortunes we have come to so readily anticipate.
~ The End ~
*I’m aware this probably speaks more about my own bad judgment and handling of relationships than it does of relationships and romance in general!
Image from pinterest