I’m at this stage in my life where I just want to be comfortable and realising that if I was given the choice, I’d walk around all day, for days, without a bra, in my pyjamas and with nothing more elaborate than flip flops for footwear.
See it’s all well and good to go spending inordinate amounts of cash on expensive, hand-stitched blah blah clothing, fancy dresses, super sexy killer shoes to make every hot blooded male (or even female) gawp as you trip-trap by. I know plenty of friends who do – and really, all the power to them for being able to hold it up, maintain that posture, not let their stomachs hang out and walk properly without falling off an escalator.
I’ve decided, in my complacent 30s, that it’s not for me. I just realised that I haven’t worn anything without elastic in the last three months. I’ve been only in my Cotton On tank tops, gypsy skirts, ali-baba trousers or maxi dresses. Even putting on jeans or anything with a button seems like an effort these days.
I started thinking about all this recently, when I suddenly discovered the magic of Cotton On’s incredibly cheap and cheerful knickers. An absolutely steal at RM80 for 5 super sheer, sexy and ULTRA comfy pants – so naturally, I got myself 10. (Well, of course! The question should be why I only got 10.) I’m also a hardy, long-standing Marks&Spencers loyalist. After doing the whole sexy-expensive lingerie track, I have come to that final, most important, forever-ever decision that M&S still reigns supreme for comfy cotton knickers that you don’t have to worry about riding up your ass in the middle of that important meeting or date.
There’s other stuff you can get out there which is sexy and sweet and perhaps so expensive you’d want to start taking insurance out on your vagina just in case anything happens that could ruin your underwear. You’d think that for the price and promotions and incredible sex appeal they exude that they should at least be comfortable. Never the case. They’re always bunching up into this hole or that crack, the lace is itchy in the wrong places, or they pinch in the other wrong places.
I tell you, nothing beats Marks & Spencers for good underwear (and now, as newly discovered, Cotton On’s RM80 for 5).
Now that I’m nearing 32, well past that adventurous life-curve of the mid-twenties, I’ve started thinking, ‘Ah fuck it. I don’t need to be sexy. Being comfortable is sexy; and that’s good enough for me. If whoever-is-now-in-bed-with-me doesn’t think my M&S black knickers are good enough, then he can sod off.’
That’s right, I think I’ve just chosen the comfort of my cotton underwear over my sex life.
Same with the Havaianas over the sexy 3-inch gold-tipped stilettos. Nothing gives me more confidence than my flipflops. I can even safely say that I walk into a room more confident and feeling more sexy (comfort is sexy, what!) wearing my worn out purple Sanuks than any of my over-priced pumps.
See my new philosophy is this: comfort leads to confidence, because you’re feeling good about yourself and not conscious about this thing riding up in the wrong place or that thing tied so tight you’re about to pass out.
Confidence leads to beauty (and looking sexy, if that’s what you’re after) because you’re being most yourself and at your most natural.
And that’s what you want people to love you for.
You want people to love you for you – elastic cotton, favourite, grubby tshirt, warts and all. People don’t want to meet, befriend or fall in love with a Barbie doll who, after hours, isn’t half the vision she portrayed herself to be. After all, people generally don’t want to stay around people who aren’t being truthful to themselves or about themselves, right?
When I think back on my relationships, I’ve also realised that I met all these guys at a time when I was at my most dressed down – read: most comfortable. Two of them fell in love me at a time when I was horridly ill and could do nothing but blob about in oversized t-shirts, oversized pyjama pants and unwashed hair for days. I figured later, that if they could love me at my worst manifestation of a troll, then they’re going to love me for awhile yet. It’d be a such a treat for them if only I brushed my hair and put on a dress, any dress!!
Okay wait, this is NOT saying that everyone should dress down, not make an effort and just be a slob, okay?? Don’t go rocking up to your next job interview braless, in your track pants and your hair in a scruffy ponytail. I’m not saying that. I’m saying be comfortable. I’m saying, don’t get caught up in that whole frenzy of brands and trends and fashion must-haves – just wear what makes you feel happiest and most comfortable. Because I believe that it’s when you’re most comfortable that you can be at your best.
For some people, that may well mean an Armani suit, a thousand-thousand-thousand dollar Chanel handbag and Dior’s latest shoes. For me, it’s my Marks & Spencers knickers, my Cotton On tank-top and these brandless giant polka dotted cotton trousers I got from some random shop in Bangsar Village.
Cheap. Cheerful. And most of all, comfortable.