Living Unapologetically

Wrote this yesterday for another blog, The Good Enough Girls, which I’ve just started with the dearest friend in the world. I’ve been feeling like a bit of a rock star lately so I’m extra pleased with this post and doubling up by posting it here too. Have a happy week, all, live unapologetically.


freedomIt feels like the planets are aligning to bring my fantastic friendships into my life and I’ve recently been reconnecting with some amazing people who are lending more and more wisdom to my life. (I think online chats get way too much flak – I’ve been having some of the best and most uplifting conversations there of late, with friends from all over the world).

Today, I was speaking to an old friend about a new direction I’m taking in life. She’s extremely adventurous, full of that beautiful self-confidence that took her travelling around the world for three years and showed her all sorts of wonderful things about cultures, spiritual practices, people-from-everywhere and herself. Though she’s often had to face familial conflicts (as many of us do), she’s fought the tide find her own balance and peace, carving out her own life that marries all very the things we’re all looking for – passion, love, spiritual awareness, wisdom, peace.

I’m in awe of her.

She’s known of a recently huge decision I made in what I wanted to do with my life – from being deeply immersed in spiritual practices to giving it all up completely (for too many reasons to go into here). So it was not without a little self-consciousness that I told her today, haltingly, sheepishly, “I’m being a bit unapologetically worldly for now. I think I’ll route back to something spiritual and personal later but for now I’m feeling so disillusioned by the whole thing, you know.”

For a long time, I lived and worked in a place where things often felt restricted by unbending, unyielding polarised opposites. Things were either worldly or spiritual, beneficial or selfish, wholly well-intentioned or necessarily laced with evil agendas. You were exclusively one of the other and it had become extremely stressful to live in a place where I felt constantly fearful or guilty for not being 100% spiritual and beneficial with wholly good intentions 100% of the time. To be less than this was to be not (good) enough.

So there I was telling this gorgeous friend that I was now applying for a very “samsaric” position at a very worldly magazine.

Very gorgeous friend of mine surprised me (so very joyously!) when she replied:

“Oh what? You don’t need to qualify things according to whether they’re samsara or not. It’s just life and it’s all about your attitude. No need for guilt.

“Life is awesome! Just remember that… it’s all about approach. And who’s to say working there isn’t spiritual? Everything is spiritual – it depends on your heart.”

For me and my experiences, this was all being enacted in a context of a spiritual / worldly divide, but I feel that it’s quite common for people to often feel like they have to choose exclusively between one thing and another for something to be “good” or “successful”. More often than not, though, it’s far more layered than that.

It’s also how we’re thinking, living, loving from what we’re doing; whether it’s growing our strengths and lessening our weaknesses; whether it’s making us more honest, generous, loving people; whether it’s making you a stronger, more empowered person, able to affect change in others’ lives or turning you towards greater isolation where you’re more wary of others, fearful, guilty, sad.

So technically, you could be anywhere as anything – engineer on an oil rig, environmentalist saving dolphins, banker, world’s top fashion blogger, socialite, academic, philanthropist – and it wouldn’t matter a dot if you “approached it” in the wrong way, with negativity, anger, trepidation. So the converse is also true – you could be anywhere doing anything and it would matter the world if you only approached it the right way.

Sometimes, I guess, that’s all you need to find yourself in the best place you ever should be.

Serendipitously, this truthbomb from Danielle LaPorte found its way to my inbox today. Apt, I think, for what this is all about:

I’m pretty sure the world needs more people
who know what they really, truly, sincerely
want in life.

Now go out and get it, unapologetically.

Pix from The Sunset Sessions

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