#90daysofmindful Day 3: This is NOT just a selfie.
Well, it is a little bit. But here’s why: went shopping and discovered I can’t fit into too many things anymore. Frustrating, exasperating, a little disappointed in myself. I’m standing in my knickers in front of an unforgiving full-length mirror under the unforgiving glare of the lights and I can see every last dimple of cellulite and wobble.
Then I think: It’s okay. I’m right where I need to be. There’s a lot this old body has got me through in the last 18 months. And yes, it’s put on weight, it’s not a size 10 anymore, but perhaps that’s also its way of protection, of padding out, of looking after me in the only way it knows how (for isn’t that how, biologically, our bodies and those loving doses of cortisol, sometimes respond to stress and anxiety? Goodness knows I’ve had my fair share of all that).
I feel less resentful, more grateful, more aware than ever of what my body has done and is doing for me. I am glad just to be out and about, to dance and jiggle if it takes my fancy, and in that moment, to strike a pose as obnoxiously as I can alone there in that fitting room.