Here it comes, making its jolly, smelly way up the peninsula until it’s settled down with its whole extended family in the Klang Valley. Ladies and Gentlemen, announcing the arrival of: The Haze. It’s creeped up on us like a bad villain, here to destroy lives and wreck havoc on the lives of happy Malaysians the nation over. Just listen to him crackle and pop as he hears how miserable we are.
But we shan’t and we can’t let him win, can we! No sirree. So here’s a guide to beating The Haze at his game and staying chipper, happy and as healthy as can be while he swirls around like a bad fart.
1. Drink, drink, drink, hydrate, hydrate, hydrate
Every Haze-Survival-Guide advises this and yes, it’s an absolute must-do for keeping yourself well hydrated amidst all this nasty heat and for constantly flushing out the yucky things we’re all inhaling. Don’t resort to fizzy drinks or sugary pops, which only add more shit into your body without actually quenching your thirst or keeping your system nice and clear.
If you’re the sort that hates water, make your own healthy fizzy with sparkling water, chopped up fresh fruit or herbs. A few suggestions:
– sparkling water with blueberries
– sparkling water with peaches
– normal water with chopped strawberries
– normal water with slices of cucumber
– any kind of water with a squeeze of lemon and/or orange and some slices or shavings of lemon and orange peel
Avoid diuretics like teas, coffees and alcohol which has the reverse effect of dehydrating your body. This only makes you feel more sluggish and slows down your body’s ability to get rid of toxins.
2. Stay Indoors
This goes without saying really, and you’d be a real dummy if you insisted on dining al fresco or skulking about in parks. Keep cool and clear indoors (with the windows closed), good air-conditioning and an ioniser or air purifier. Doesn’t have to be a super expensive one – you can get reasonable air purifiers at places like Ace Hardware. For a little extra luxe, light up a Lampe Berger to improve your home’s air quality.
3. Teabags for the eye
If you’re anything like me, The Haze has probably destroyed your eyes by now. You know – that awful, stinging, tearing, puffy feeling all round your eyes. Antibiotic eyedrops from the pharmacy will help if you’re actually getting infections, but for relief that’s just as effective and less ‘invasive’ than drugs, use tea or teabags. Place used, cooled down teabags on your eyes or make a cup of tea, cool it down in the fridge and soak cotton wool balls into it before placing them on your eyes. I promise an instant ‘ahhhh’ factor!
Obviously, not outdoors, d’oh. The Haze was making me feel really woozy and lethargic but I decided to drag myself to the gym yesterday to try to get rid of that blah feeling and the niggly headache. Work at whatever pace you’re comfortable with of, course. Now’s not really the time to try to break records or push your limits. But getting your heart pumping and moving those limbs about really helps to get the good old blood circulation going. Drink loads of water as you’re exercising – you’ll be getting more blood to your head as well as flushing out more of those horrid, hazy toxins.
5. Eat more fresh fruit and veg
Yah, yah, nobody wants to hear lectures about fruit and veges but it’s true. Boost your immune system and soak out / flush out toxins with lots of fresh fruit and leafy veges. They make delicious snacks for those heavy, hot days anyway, without any of that nasty, claggy, undigested bloatedness.
6. Keep your skin clear and clean
The haze can really irritate the skin, especially for eczema sufferers or people with sensitive skin. The added heat might also give you heat rashes which aren’t just irritating but look damn gross. Wash regularly and thoroughly to stop the haze from absorbing through your pores like one of those bad spells found in Marvel comics.
Use mild and gentle soaps which clean without added more chemicals to the skin. I highly recommend the incredible, delicious handmade soaps from KinderSoaps.
7. Go shopping
If all else fails, go shopping – whether online or in a mall. At least you’ll be indoors away from direct contact with The Haze. And well, shopping always makes you feel better about things.